And I resigned..

And I resigned.

I remembered that day when I got the interview here (my current employment company) I was beyond than happy. It was a golden opportunity for me to get an entry to a job that I dreamed of.

Flashback:

A bit of history back then, my first job was not in the education line. I was an underwriter in one of the big company in PJ. My everyday life was quite the same, except I have to overtime almost everyday. The best part was, I learned about the medical condition and got to relate back to what I studied during my Master and Degree. It was a great experience for me except that I couldn’t communicate much with my colleagues. Why? Because we got daily target to achieve , and we didn’t have so much time to chit chat and talk except during lunch hour which was only 1 hour or less because, 1/4 of it spent for our prayer.

My wish back then was to work in a lively environment where I can frequently talk to people, I can give training , I can be the matter expert and help others and I can involve with meeting, events and etc. But how can I get that kind of job if I was stuck with the underwriting job?

So I took a huge diversion in my career. At age of 28, I applied to a lot of lecturer position but I didn’t get any. However, that’s doesn’t mean I gave up. I finally resigned from my underwriting job and I was jobless for 3 months.

Then, with the help from my friend, I was hired in a small company doing a quality job. It was an enjoyable experience for me but I was lack of training since they just started the quality dept. I googled and learned by myself. Not long after that, I was surprised by an interview invitation from such a big and famous company, which currently my working place.

I was delighted after been hired in this company. I told my parent, friends and family that I want to started fresh. I wanna build my skills here and I wanna be expert in this field. Plus I wanna work for a long time, which would be 5 to 10 years and I promised myself that this would be my permanent job. After all, I got the news just after I planned for my marriage, so thats totally mean this was destined for me and maybe a gift for my marriage. I accepted and took this job.

Honestly, it was not a smooth sail I should say. I was happy at first but then I should accept that I was a fresh executive who knew nothing. It was a dead end job for me. I was more an assistant rather than an executive. I try to catch up, read a lot, prove that I can do the given task. But most of the time it does not make any difference. People say I was not grateful for what I have been given. Trust me, I try to change and I try to improve myself by talking to my superior several times about my dream and my plan. But I got nowhere to go. I was stucked. My struggle was for nothing. I was demotivated all the time. My initial plan, my spirit was slowly fading away.

There was one time I can’t resist anymore and I cried. Cried in front of everyone. I was at my low point until I could not control myself. I lost my motivation and no one knows the real reason why I cried.

Thats the point where everything changes 360 degrees. I am blessed that Allah is a great planner. HE blessed me with the news that my husband got transferred here. Thats the right time where I needed my husband most.

Day after day passed by. I discussed with my husband and family what I really want actually. What I really wanted to be. Oh btw, I have been stop applying for PhD and scholarships long time ago. And frankly say, I gave up for that actually. After a deep thought, I started to apply again for that.

Then It’s like a miracle happened to me when I was finally been accepted in one of the private university here with full scholarship and monthly allowances. Even though, during the application process I did failed 2 times of English test and I almost give up. But I took again next English’s test with the English preparation class. Honestly I did spent a lot for these.

With Duas and all the support from my husband, family and my lovely colleagues and friends. I did successfully passed the test. Allah has finally showed me the way.

And I resigned.

I didn’t regret what I have experienced. It taught me a lot. If you are a fresh graduates. Please know what you want to be. Pictured yourself in 10 yrs time. Go find the experience and learn the skills in small or start up company. Choose the job you are really happy and enjoy working where u can learn every single day even the salary would be not as much as expected.

Second everything happened for reasons and don’t ever give up in your life. Overcome all the challenges with positive thinking. Its okay to cry but please get up soon and work harder on what you really want.

That’s my story. And here I am now waiting for my notice and will be starting my new PhD journey soon 💕

P/s: sorry for my broken English 😅